Chapter 5-“Maybe all people are all alike in this..
PART I – Hot Springs Island, BC, Canada
Chapter 5 iNovel Link
“Maybe all people are all alike in this, at least in some ways.”
The World Wide Web provides untold opportunity for viewing photos, illustrations, video and other visual offerings. It’s also an amazing vehicle for audio delivery: the Chapter 5 iNovel link is an audio play, a short Audio Book that delivers in dramatic fashion the scene featuring Jason and Tina Love as they talk about marriage and loss on the grassy knoll of Cape Sansum starting on page 92.
I’VE always loved radio plays, radio dramas, and audio books. It’s literature for the ears. The timbre of the voices, the sound effects, the music - they all add drama and mood. It's almost painting with sound. As with books, we’re without visuals so we’re forced to conjure up the images in our heads. What was her expression when she said that? What’s in the background and how’s the weather and the light? What’s he doing with his hands?
This conversation, which you can listen to by clicking the link below, is between Jason and Tina Love as they talk about marriage and loss on the grassy knoll of Point Sansum.
If you want to follow along in the book, please start at Page 92 or use the transcript below.
NARRATOR: Hot Springs – an iNovel by Steve Zio. Chapter 5 iNovel Link.
Jason and Tina are sitting on the grassy knoll of Point Sansum looking at the ocean. Tina has just told Jason how she met her husband, Curtis, a psychologist from Ontario. She has described him, their early fairy-tale romance, and then, how Curtis began to transform.
TINA: “Anyway, I said ‘at first’ because he changed. This is after we got married. Once he had me, once he’d trapped me, he could strip off his camouflage. That’s when I started seeing this other side. Day by day the kindnesses, the consideration, started to peel off layer by layer like some kind of cheap varnish. Onion man.
“After a while I realized that this wasn’t the other side but the real side. He used to say the most wonderful things, things I really wanted and needed to hear. How he was getting older and how he wanted kids – with me – more than anything he’d ever wanted in his whole life. Do you know how powerful that was? Do you have any idea what that meant to me?”
NARRATOR: Jason did. The question of children – her wanting them and wanting them soon– had been a chasm between them. Or maybe it was a wall – their own Great Wall.
TINA: “But when things started changing, they were so gradual and insidious that I can’t even tell you when it began. I’ve tried and tried and still can’t mark the day or the event when things really started to slide. He wanted me to do things for him. Little things, which I gladly did. I wasn’t working very much and I loved helping him. Helping with his research, making phone calls, doing domestic stuff. It all seemed so natural. But his ‘favors’ kept increasing at the same time he was telling me to be free. And whenever I’d try to bring it up, he’s so good with words, he’d turn things around. Then he’d treat me like a child, acting beneficent and condescending like he’d bestowed some great favor on me by even listening to my ‘concerns’ – that was the word he used. It was like we weren’t husband and wife anymore but doting parent and slightly simple child.
NARRATOR: Jason gripped her hand. He had no idea she had been pregnant. Tina gave him that smile, the one where she bit her lower lip. Her eyes were wet. She’d never looked more vulnerable.
TINA: “Yeah, surprise. At first I was overjoyed. And so was Curtis. Or so I thought. But then, almost overnight, he changed. He became so controlling. When he’d travel he’d leave me – get this – a typed list of do’s and don’ts. Can you believe it? Typed, for God’s sake. [Tina’s voice quavered.] “Then, when he’d come home, he’d check up on me. He’d actually check to see if I’d followed his instructions. He’d call the doctor to make sure I’d gone, he’d measure food to see what I’d eaten. But it was ‘all for my own good,’ he’d say. ‘For the baby’s sake, our baby.’” [Tina imitated him, her voice horribly pompous.]
“And then…” [she stopped talking for a moment, composing herself.] “And then… I had a miscarriage. Oh, it was horrible, Jason. It was horr--”
NARRATOR: She was crying now and half-hugging him.
TINA: “It was around eighteen weeks. One night, I went to bed, same as usual. And then, in the middle of the night, I woke up in terrible pain. I was bleeding and cramping. They rushed me to the hospital… and when we got there, there was no heartbeat… it turns out the baby had been dead for almost two weeks. Two weeks. Can you imagine? For two weeks I was carrying around my poor little dead Samuel-- Sam. That’s not the way it’s supposed to be…it’s just not…he was supposed to be born.”
NARRATOR: She couldn’t go on. He held her tight and rubbed her back. Whispered that everything was going to be all right. Tina eventually composed herself enough to continue.
TINA: “And you know what Curtis did? Did this so-called brilliant doctor, this so-called caring psychologist? That bastard. He blamed me. He blamed me. I hadn’t followed instructions, I hadn’t listened to him, and that’s why Sam died. My poor beautiful little baby boy died inside me and he said it was my fault. It was the most hateful thing, the most totally hateful thing I’ve ever, ever experienced. After that, I couldn’t stand the sight of him. I couldn’t even look at his face. I hated him, Jason, I actually hated him. I still do. I didn’t really understand what hate was before, but now I do. The only person I’ve ever really truly hated in my whole life is the man I married.”
NARRATOR: Tears fled down her streaky face. She waited, as if willing Jason to understand the rest.
TINA: “There were complications after the miscarriage… and I had to have a hysterectomy. I can never have children, Jason. I can never have children. Me, Jason, me. Me, who’s always wanted kids so badly. How sad is that? Turns out I might have been the right girl for you after all…”
NARRATOR: She tried to laugh, but she couldn’t. Instead she cried – hopelessly, helplessly, rocking back and forth and moaning. Jason felt useless.
He had no idea how long she’d spoken, or how long he held her. Her torrent of tears slowed. They sat in silence. Both of them contemplated the meaning of pain, of children, of motherhood, of things that were and would never be.
JASON: “There’s something I’ve got to tell you, too.”
NARRATOR: Until this moment, Jason hadn’t made up his mind to tell her. But, now, how could he not?
Narration – Brandon Leudke
Tina – Sarah Mercedes Ghosh
Jason – Steve Zio
Brandon Leudke is a professional artist and actor with extensive athletic training. A graduate of The University of Western Ontario with an Honors BFA, his multidisciplinary performance experience includes stage, voice acting, improv, independent film and art video productions. Brandon’s drawings, paintings and interactive sculptures have been exhibited in galleries and alternative venues in Canada and the US.
www.BrandonLeudke.com
Sarah Mercedes Ghosh is a professional jazz/classical singer. She studied classical voice and piano at the Victoria Conservatory of Music and holds a BA in English Literature and Music from the University of Victoria. Trained in Ballet, Jazz, Latin, Salsa and Swing dancing, Sarah has worked in numerous productions as an actor, singer, dancer and musical director. She has also performed professionally as a jazz singer in Canada and Japan and has worked as a session and studio musician for various recording artists.
www.MercedesGhosh.com
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